As Valentines Day approaches, I thought it would be the ideal time to talk about love. Yes, cringe cringe cringe… But whilst it is nice to be loved up on V-day or even celebrating single life with your closest friends, how often do you take the time out to just love yourself? Do you often have to be told to value yourself ? Do you see your self-worth?
I’ve had a lot of issues concerning self-esteem and self worth in the past. Even now, I can sometimes linger back to those dark moments, but I have to tell myself that I will NEVER go back. The amazing support from my family and friends are the constant reminders of how far I have come. Oddly, I never used to delve into the opinions of myself. I used to tell myself I loved myself, yes a huge deal of denial and then I would shower love and affection to everyone around me. I never said no and just tirelessly tried to manage my own life alongside doing everything for others. This was “love” to me. My strange reasoning behind it was that if I could be there and bend over backwards for everyone, then that love was sufficient for me.
However, I did hit a point. A very rough point. I was tired, ill constantly and eventually the light and affection in my personality became painful and lethargic. I was no longer doing things for others because I wanted to, but because I felt that I had no choice. The worry that people would value me less for saying the horrid “no.” However, that was a long time ago. I can now prioritize my life and have built up the courage to say no as I have finally acknowledged that I am not SuperWoman. I am me… and firstly, I must learn to love myself before I can love and look after those around me.
For me, I started looking after my health and well being via nutrition and exercise. I started writing again, hence this blog. All of these were ways to nourish my soul and feed my body the energy to love myself and love those around me. I also needed to surround myself with positive people, people who were going to support me and truth be told, I have honestly learnt that it is only one handful of friends that was necessary for me. I am also a major fan of homemade, natural methods of looking after yourself so cooking is something that I am starting to enjoy more recently. Apart from the fact that I have not killed anyone yet, it provides me with a sense of self-fulfillment that I CAN do it. Living at home with parents who cook all the time like mine, means that I didn’t really need to. I’d have lunch and dinner prepared when I got home. However, this year I was determined to learn and put it into practice. Even my parents are surprised now at how good I am, which is a big achievement for me. So yay APPROVAL GRANTED!
I am also a massive fan of walking. Yes I can walk sometimes with music in my hears for 3 miles or so. Yes, I’m crazy. I remember university days when I’d get stressed and walk along London Bridge at 2am, in the freezing winter. Probably not one of the most bizarre things I do. Walking enables me to breathe. It puts things into perspective for me and by the end of it, I have stopped being so hard on myself and am feeling fresh in my mind again.
These are just some of the things that I do to ensure that I give myself some extra loving. In this chaotic world that we live in, we really need to take that small part of our daily lives to embrace ourselves, the journey we have travelled and the journey in which we are travelling towards. We are all individual in our own ways, but loving yourself is something that we all ought to do. Don’t let others put you down, don’t be afraid of saying no and most importantly, don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first. I’ve learnt the hard way but am glad of how far I have come.
Happy Valentines Day people!
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance”– Oscar Wilde
nirujab 